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Same Picture, Same Country

 

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Posted by Admin on Friday, September 05, 2008 9:25 AM
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Quaid-e-Tehreek and Shriek Chairman

Extraordinary Rendition

By Hakim Hazik 

Summers are lovely in London. Especially when there is a kilear biloo isky. I istepped out for a wak on Iscott road. The girls were going about in iskimpy diresses. with no sense of undue embarrassment. Unlike our peepil, they do not filaunt a false sense of modesty. I like this winsome tirait. Therefore, I have lost all sense of embarrassment. Just like my ispecial friend, the Piresident of Pakistan, Goldfinger Bhai. More...

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Posted by Admin on Sunday, August 31, 2008 5:29 PM
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محاصرہ

احمد فراز











 

تمام صوفی و سالک سبھی شیوخ و امام
 
امید ِلطف پہ ایوان ِکجکلاہ میں ہیں

معززین ِعدالت حلف اٹھانے کو

مثال سائلِ مبرم نشستہ راہ میں ہیں
 

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Posted by Admin on Wednesday, August 27, 2008 12:24 PM
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The Agreement which was broken

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Posted by Admin on Tuesday, August 26, 2008 1:24 PM
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Eel Khan

Extraordinary Rendition

By Hakim Hazik

Were  you in the meeting? It was a great occayun. Truly aa sum. I was there. So was Makhdoom Meen Feem. So was Itzasab. They were talking  in hushed canstipational tones, till the motion was passed. Then every bady became very motional. We were all standing at our seats and cheering and waving wildly. More...

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Posted by Admin on Saturday, August 23, 2008 3:16 PM
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His Excellency President Goldfinger

Extraordinary Rendition

By Hakim Hazik

(National anthem plays)...

Ladies and gentlemen, Adas and Adis, you will have by now heard the news that the despised General Tinpot has fled the country for an unknown destination. The triumph of democracy is now complete and the sovereignty of the parliament is now fully established. By the grace of God and the blessings of the State Department, your brother intends to run this country as president. More...

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Posted by Admin on Sunday, August 17, 2008 5:35 AM
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Appeal from a Cancer Patient

A 23 year old  patient suffering from brain tumor in Pakistan needs Rs 2 Million (around 26000 US Dollars ) for his treatment. I was aksed to request JDP visitors for help More...

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Posted by Admin on Friday, August 15, 2008 8:59 PM
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Live Burials

Justice Denied 

The Asian Human Rights Commission (AHRC) has received information
from a remote area of Balochistan province, that five women were
buried alive, allegedly by the younger brother of Mr. Sadiq Umrani,
the provincial minister and a prominent leader of the Pakistan
People's Party, the ruling party. However, police have still not
arrested the perpetrators after one month of the incident. More...

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Posted by Admin on Thursday, August 14, 2008 10:24 AM
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Joint Communiqué

Extraordinary Rendition 

By Hakim Hazik

Senator Goldfinger:  Ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, you will have noticed that we have called this meeting a communiqué, and not a declaration and that it is taking place in Islamabad and not in Bhurban. Thank you for being such imbeciles to turn up again and be prepared to lap up the organic waste, which we have taken great pains to put together for you. More...

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Posted by Admin on Tuesday, August 12, 2008 1:58 PM
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Ladybird Ladybird

Extraordinary Rendition

By Hakim Hazik

Lady bird lady bird, fly away home

Your house is on fire, your children all gone

Do you want an ice-lolly? I so love summer. I love travelling, especially to Washington, but the cost of flying has gone up. I have uncles who are rich and famous and can fix anything. That is why my uncle Goldfinger went to Riyadh, his Sindhi topi in hand. He spread his ajrak on the ground, and sat on it till Uncle Abdullah dropped him a cheque of 6 billion dollars and all was well. More...

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Posted by Admin on Friday, August 01, 2008 4:42 PM
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تلے گنگ دیاں بھیڈاں

تلے گنگ دیاں بھیڈاں

محمد ایوب

 تلے گنگ دیاں بھیڈاں

تک بچڑی بھسا ٹپن

اکھےدھار اساں دی تھندی

ان غیر دے ملک وکاوے

اسلاماباد دے گھوڑے

جنہاں لکھاںراتب تھوڑے

ٹپ سڑک چنگاری کڈھدے

کینویں سانویں تھی کے وگدے  

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Posted by Admin on Monday, July 28, 2008 5:18 PM
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Chiropractic

Extraordinary Rendition

By Hakim Hazik 

My name is Moonscape Chira. I am the right hand man of Co-chairman Goldfinger. Brother Naek is his left one. He doubles as his polo pony and legal adviser. I am also the Co-chairman’s masseur. We all work flexibly. More...

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Posted by Admin on Sunday, July 27, 2008 7:08 AM
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هاتھی

رفعت عباس

اك چین بزار چ كھڑكدی آوے، متھے تے اك رتی بتی هر ویلے پئی بكھے، چار چفیرے گُھمدی هوئی تے رسته سِنگھدی سونڈ وچوں پیا دھوں نكلدا، هودا جثے لتھا هویاتے كنڈاُتے اك ڈھكن باقی﴿هودے وچ كوئی بیٹھا هوئے یا دھر اندر وی هاتھی آپ اے﴾ پوچھل نال اك ترٹی بھنی گھڑی بدھی، شهر دا رُكیا ٹائم دسیندی 

The Elephant

By Riffat Abbas 

A jangling chain is heading this way; a red light blazing on the crown, the trunk revolving all around, sniffing the ground, exhaling fumes, a howdah is laden on this form, needing only a slight adjustment (is someone riding in the howdah or is it the beast itself inside?); tied to the tail is a smashed up watch; on it, the time of the city stands still

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Posted by Admin on Wednesday, July 23, 2008 4:46 PM
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The Liberation of Dubai

 

Extraordinary Rendition

By Hakim Hazik 

Dear Boys And Girls, Parents And Teachers, Ladies And Gentlemen, I am very grateful for your kind invitation to address this convocation.  

We know that this be the last one in this city, as the capital has moved to Dubai. I fully support this move.  The photocopiers and fax machines are better in Dubai and the security environment is much better. With the frontier province taken over by General Mahsood, and Islamabad about to fall, I think it is a wise precaution. More...

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Posted by editor on Saturday, July 19, 2008 7:42 AM
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Apocalypse, How?

 

Transcultural Dialogues

By Hakim Hazik 

General Tinpot: Hello Doctor Sahib, the world must be coming to an end. There are one eyed monsters everywhere. The infidel aircraft are slaughtering the faithful soldiers of the Tinpot army. The sun is blazing at the height of one spear and a quarter. There is no power and no water. This must be the end of time. More...

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Posted by editor on Sunday, July 13, 2008 2:04 PM
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Habib Jalib - Mainay Uss Say Yeh Kaha - Laal

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Posted by Admin on Wednesday, July 09, 2008 7:06 PM
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Do You Have Love In Your Culture?

Justice Denied

Le Monde Diplomatique
3 July 2008
By Dahr Jamail

On June 16 I was the co-recipient of the Martha Gellhorn Prize for Journalism with Mohammed Omer in London. Omer is a 24 year-old Palestinian with whom I felt, and feel, honored to have shared this award. During my brief talk while accepting the award, I told the audience I could not think of anyone else I would rather share the award with. Omer's work from his Gaza homeland has been a beacon of humanitarian reportage; his work serves as a model of peace and attempted reconciliation with Israel for the youth in his occupied territory. More...

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Posted by Admin on Tuesday, July 08, 2008 12:31 PM
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I Love Polo

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik  

My name is Farooq Nike. I am a polo pony. In my spare time, I give legal advice to my owner. He is called Senator Goldfinger. He is rich man, though very modest and unpretentious. He has 1.8 billion dollars, but he keeps them under his mattress. He comes from a long line of aristocrats. He is the Wadera of Nawab Shah, Sheikh of Dubai, Count of Surrey, Mayor of West Palm Beach and Sheriff of Manhattan. More...

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Posted by editor on Friday, July 04, 2008 4:47 PM
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Thousands face death row reprieve

The Pakistani cabinet has approved a plan to commute the sentences of thousands of prisoners on death row to life imprisonment, officials say.

The proposal, which must be endorsed by President Musharraf, is expected to benefit some 7,000 condemned prisoners.

Rights group Amnesty International said the move would reprieve about one-third of the world's death row population.

It is still not clear if inmates sentenced for drugs, terrorism or spying offences would also benefit. More...

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Posted by Admin on Thursday, July 03, 2008 11:28 AM
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The Bara Operation Is A Lie

By Mohammad Malick

PESHAWAR: The so-called grand operation to "protect" Peshawar from the marauding troops of the Lashkar-e-Islami of militant leader Haji Mangal Bagh and others entered its third day today. The government has already claimed victory to the extent of ridding the Khyber Agency of the so -called criminal extremists who ostensibly have been sent scurrying to the farther valley of Tirah. More...

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Posted by editor on Wednesday, July 02, 2008 11:07 AM
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Deal Deal Pakistan

Extraordinary Rendition

By Hakim Hazik 

Your Supreme Royal Highness, Custodian of The Holy Places, Defender of Faith, Guardian of Sharia, please accept our greetings from the Islamic Republic. I and your Bhabi can not forget the time we spent at your feet. I hope they are less swollen now and your rheumatism is better. More...

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Posted by editor on Sunday, June 29, 2008 7:06 AM
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I Came, I Sa, I Canquered

Extraordinary Rendition

By Hakim Hazik

Did you come to my lanching ceremoaney? It was a histaric occayun. The Shareek Chairman made a revolutionary sapeach, although the book is called, ‘The Evolution of Damo Cracy’. Damo cracy started in England, so the book is in Englush. Englush is sapoken in England. Germany is sapoken in German. The leader in England is called the prime minister. The leader in German is called the Fuhrer. The leader in Pakistan is called the Shareek Chairman.  More...

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Posted by editor on Friday, June 20, 2008 5:32 PM
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Land of the Bird

By Mohammad Ayub

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Posted by editor on Monday, June 16, 2008 5:45 PM
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Think Tank

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik 

My name is M1A2 Abrams. I was made by General Dynamics in Lima, Ohio, 3 years ago. My best friend is George No Clue (Jr.). He is the most powerful man on earth. He is the same age as me, mentally. More...

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Posted by editor on Saturday, June 14, 2008 10:10 AM
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PMC expels 23 Ahmedi students

Justice Denied 

FAISALABAD: The Punjab Medical College (PMC) Faisalabad on Thursday expelled 23 Ahmedi students accused of preaching religion in the university, following a recommendation by the college’s disciplinary committee. Earlier, PMC students had staged a protest demanding the students’ expulsion. More...

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Posted by editor on Monday, June 09, 2008 5:42 AM
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Spinmaster General, May His Tribe Increase

Transcultural Dialogues

By Hakim Hazik 

Geo: It seems that Gen Gulzar has spilled the beans; Gen Tinpot must be very upset? 

Spinmaster: It’s a wanton waste of precious lentils and erosion of national wealth. Besides, what Gen Gulzar considers patriotism is actually an enlarged prostate. More...

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Posted by editor on Saturday, June 07, 2008 7:49 AM
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Whispers

By: Qaiser Zaidi

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Posted by editor on Thursday, June 05, 2008 5:33 PM
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Yusuf And The Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat

Extraordinary Rendition

By Hakim Hazik 

The chairman of the CBR, Mr Abdullah Yusuf has described as preposterous the allegations by some philistines that his electrifying dance performance was motivated by intoxication, ambition, debauchery or pinworms. More...

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Posted by editor on Sunday, June 01, 2008 7:36 AM
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King Badar the Conquerer

Extraordinary Rendition

By Hakim Hazik 

The Honour and Glory of the Throne of Hindoostan, the Shadow of God, the Great Hero, the Great King, Noor ud Din Mohammad Jahangir Badar, MA (Pol Sci.), LLB (Pb.), will now address a press conference: More...

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Categories: Politics
Posted by Admin on Monday, May 26, 2008 12:59 AM
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The Marsupial Nation

 

Extraordinary Rendition

By Hakim Hazik 

We travelled in a cattle truck from the Outback to Canberra, on Qantas to Singapore and First Class on TIA, from there on to the Capital City. We were given immunisation against the yellow fever virus, the foot and mouth virus, the glanders virus and the suo moto virus.  More...

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Posted by editor on Friday, May 16, 2008 5:02 PM
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Bhai Ram Singh

Letter to the Queen

By Asif Raja

HRM, The Queen 

Dear Madam, 

It has been a long time that I wrote to you last. Needless to say, I never bothered to post you those letters that I had written, or made any attempt to email you. I did go back on my