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The Lahore Durbar

 

Dear danny zens of Lahore shpecially zens, I am writing your faram the durbar of Lahore with Shriek Chairman sitting on the takht of Lahore. As always, I am spoating him. I am the most impatant mimber af his paty. I carry the weight af the hole paty on my strang shoulders. I share the burdens af his leadership by carrying them myself. This brings a smile to the face of the Shriek Chairman and sometimes tears to his eyes More...

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Politics

Dress in the Journal Sembly

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik 

Do you think I am writing to you from Inside Bhati Gate? No sir ji. I am writing to you from the Big Apple. You think Shriek Chairman is the Big Apple? Wrang again, although the Shriek Chairman is big leader and the apple of my eyes. More...

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Politics

King Badar the Conquerer

Extraordinary Rendition

By Hakim Hazik 

The Honour and Glory of the Throne of Hindoostan, the Shadow of God, the Great Hero, the Great King, Noor ud Din Mohammad Jahangir Badar, MA (Pol Sci.), LLB (Pb.), will now address a press conference: More...

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Politics

Betrayal

Why the “gradualists” were wrong.

By Omar Ali

In the days following the election I received a good deal of mail from “gradualists” who felt that “precipitate action” at this sensitive juncture would somehow disrupt the supposedly “delicate” process of transition to democracy in Pakistan. I was among those who insisted that such “gradualism” would NOT lead to transition to democracy. Rather, it would lead BACK to rule by secret agencies and behind the scenes operatives. More...

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Politics

Jagdeesh Kumar

Justice Denied 

Monday, 28 April , 2008, 14:39  

Karachi: Three weeks since Jagdeesh Kumar, a 22-year-old Hindu worker in a garment factory in Pakistan's largest city, was beaten to death by a mob for allegedly making blasphemous remarks about Prophet Mohammad, his murderers remain unpunished. More...

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Politics

Meray Aziz Hamwatno

Extraordinary Rendition

by: Hakim Hazik 

My dear Pakistani Brothers And Sisters,

At the stroke of midnight hour, on behalf of the valiant armed forces, I have taken over control as the Caliph of God on Earth, Emir of the Faithful, Chief Martial Law Administrator and President of the Moderately Islamic Republic of Pakistan. More...

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Army | Politics

Citizen Dogar Wants to Know

Letter from: Ghulam Farooq Dogar 

Hello

I am an ordinary Pakistani and have no access to political leadership in Pakistan. It is through all of you, I hope to get access to Pakistan's political leadership in particular to Co-Chairman Asif Ali Zardari and Prime Minister of Pakistan Hon. Yousaf Raza Gilani. I merely want to ask them a few questions, only if they care to consider and answer. I will be very grateful and obliged for your favour.  More...

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Judiciary | Politics

Yes Minister Ji

    

Transcultural Dialogues 

By: Hakim Hazik 

Minister of Science: Do you know much about culture, Minister Ji? 

Minister of Culture: Not a lot more than you know about science. But I can pronounce ‘r’, which is a great deal more than Jahangir Badar can do. It is also the greatest cultural achievement in the history of Bhati Gate, since Allama Iqbal wrote the national anthem. This has not escaped the notice of Mian Sahib. More...

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Politics

Tinpot International Airlines

 

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik 

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome aboard this special flight of Tinpot International Airlines to Beijing and other exotic destinations, all of which will be revealed in the fullness of time. We extend our warmest welcome to our first time flyers, Chaudhry Little Authority and Mr. Campfollower Qureshi. We invite them to join our frequent flyer scheme, which offers a range of benefits, including membership of the very exclusive Inbred Social International Club, also called the ISI. More...

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Musharraf | Politics

The Prince and the Kingmaker

 

Transcultural Dialogues 

By Hakim Hazik 

The Prince: Nice moustache Ada, only slightly grizzled, gives you poise and gravitas; looks graceful and authoritative. Very compatible with your new stature. The slight trimming that I recommended seems to have worked perfectly. More...

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Politics