The Asylum Taken Over

July 27, 2013 at 11:44 AMAdministrator

Hakim Hazik

Extraordinary Rendition

 

Dar Sahib came knocking on the door, a kashkol (1.5m x 1.5m) in hand, begging for a 1 per cent increase. I have told him to go away. The court will not be moved by the considerations of economics or economic literacy or control of inflation. It only wants justice for the sprawling and miserable humanity, including Arsalan Beta. More...

Posted in:

Tags:

Don’t Forget Your Paandan.

July 27, 2013 at 11:38 AMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

I am kirying my eyes out. When your country turns igainst you and your idapted country turns igainst you, when the Iscatalnd Yard digs up old SIMs and Ifhitkar Bhai sings like a canary, is there any pynt in living? More...

Posted in:

Tags:

Devil Wears Pranda

July 27, 2013 at 11:35 AMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

The holy month of Ramazan is near. The devil is tied down and the faithful are allowed to earn credits in the court of Allah SWT. We have put together a wonderful programme of prayer and submission to wipe out all your sins. More...

Posted in:

Tags:

University of Genocide Studies

July 27, 2013 at 11:33 AMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik


Allah SWT be praised. 

 

The mujahideen of Islam have made rapid gains against the enemies of Islam. We have eliminated 21 female enemies of God with the help of the blessed improvised explosive device, put together with meticulous care with halal materiel from the mudarba based, profit and loss sharing, Pak Arab fertilizer company. More...

Posted in:

Tags:

The Black Flags of Khurasan

July 27, 2013 at 11:29 AMAdministrator

 

 

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

Dear viewers, 

We are in the State Cave complex in Miran Shah from where we will bring you the blow by blow account of the negotiations between the delegates of Darul Kufr of the Trans Indus and the Islamic Emirate of the Khurasan. More...

Posted in:

Tags:

Witchcraft and Statecraft

July 27, 2013 at 11:25 AMAdministrator

Letter from Brother Abdullah

Hakim Hazik

 

Dear Brother Noon,

 

We are sitting in the new and improved haram sharif which we have rebuilt after erasing the ancient graves with Komatsu bulldozers. Tears are rolling down our pious chins and our blameless goatee is soaked to its dyed roots. We are so happy to see you taking the oath of office of the satrap of the Republic. We, the thirty one royal consorts and Prince Muqrin, with the pocket comb that he confiscated from you, are looking forward to see you when you come and visit the Kingdom to offer homage and kiss our signet ring. More...

Posted in:

Tags:

Jamia Suicidia

July 27, 2013 at 11:20 AMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

The great leader of the masses, the rejuvenator of the true faith and the vicegerent of God on earth, Wali ur Rehman Mehsud, fell martyr to the Zionist, infidel, drone strike on wednesday. May he rest in everlasting peace and may his message and mission spread to the whole of Khurasan and Transoxiana. More...

Posted in:

Tags:

Middle Class Republic of Gunny Bag

July 27, 2013 at 11:18 AMAdministrator

The Quaid ispeaks

Hakim Hazik

 

 

Dear Mutahidda nation, 

 

Yours Tiruly is very distiressed at the current happenings in the mother country of Azizabad Middle Kilass Republic. That isnake in the girass, the viper in our bosom, the son of a canine, has been accusing me of ordering the contract killing of Zohra Bibi. This is not talerable. All patriatic Azizabadis must enter into a national gunny sack design competition so that we can teach this enemy of the middle kilass an exemplary lesson. He must leave the Republic at once and go an live with Lady Annabel Ismith, unless he wants to end up  inside the national winner of the gunny bag competition. More...

Posted in:

Tags:

High Noon

July 27, 2013 at 10:28 AMAdministrator

Letter to Brother Abdullah

Hakim Hazik

 

Dear Brother Abdullah, 

 

By the grace of Allah SWT, and the benevolence of Brother Hakimullah, we are all set to place our pious bottom on the throne of Islam. Allah be praised, the faithful of the Republic have chosen us to be their commander.  Delegates are coming from all corners of the caliphate to express their submission. The forces of Islam have won a comprehensive victory. The swamps of error, deviation and mischief have been drained, just as the swamps of dengue were drained before that. More...

Posted in:

Tags:

Sher and Sharif

July 27, 2013 at 10:24 AMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

The caged lion, Mian Sher,  is no more. It breathed its last in the world famous Ghora University Hospital and Medical Centre. The hospital director, Dr Guldar Ahmed, said the late Mian Sher was brought to the hospital in a state of shock, brought on by a heat stroke. Talking to the newsmen gathered in the hospital, the spokesman for the Movement of the Islamic Sher, Mr. Bakri Saeed Kirmani has said that it is now incumbent upon us to continue the mission of the departed leader and to get the nation to a status it deserves among the comity of the caged animals. More...

Posted in:

Tags:

The Sasti Ideology Scheme

July 27, 2013 at 10:22 AMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

 

A bird flying over Peshawar sees rivers of blood. A bird flying over Lahore sees the marvelous engineering works which changed the way ordinary people live and work and carry out their daily activities and bombing of public places. More...

Posted in:

Tags:

The Rooster

July 27, 2013 at 10:15 AMAdministrator

 

الديك 

نزار قباني 

 

1

في حارتنا

ديك سادي سفاح 

ينتف ريش دجاج الحارة ،

كل صباح 

ينقرهن 

يطاردهن 

يضاجعهن 

ويهجرهن 

ولا يتذكر أسماء الصيصان 

 

The Rooster

Nizar Qabbani

 

In our street,

lives a sadistic murderous rooster

he plucks feathers off the hens in the street

clucks at them

chases them

has his way with them

and abandons them

and does not remember the names of the chicks

More...

Posted in:

Tags:

Abbaji’s Dream

July 27, 2013 at 10:10 AMAdministrator

Letter to Brother Abdullah

Hakim Hazik

 

Dear Brother Abdullah,

 

Virtue is consolidating its hold in the Republic and vice is on retreat. Brother Tinpot is also in retreat. He has defied the Islamic court in Islamabad and has made good his escape with the help of his vassals in a Nissan off-roader. He has escaped to Chak Shahzad, where he has dug himself in and raised the banner of rebellion. More...

Posted in:

Tags:

The Gates of Lahore

April 21, 2013 at 9:29 PMAdministrator

 

 

Written and researched by Mudassar Bashir 

Translated by Prof Tariq Maqbool

 

 Gates of the Walled City of Lahore 

You could not step twice into the same river; for other waters are ever flowing on to you. (Heraclites) 

“Man is a social animal” and can not live alone. Human history shows a constant evolution of different lifestyles as adaptation to the environment is a continual, cultural and learned process. At first, humans started dwelling in caves and forests and they were merely hunter- gatherers. As populations grew, there was an increased demand of food and greater dependence on plants. This led to the independent development of agriculture at different points of human history in different lands particularly near the banks of rivers and streams. More...

Posted in:

Tags:

Mullah Mohamed Saleh Kamboh

April 14, 2013 at 4:25 PMAdministrator

Mudassar Bashir

 

Mullah Mohamed Saleh Kamboh and Sheikh Inayat Ullah were men of letters in the era of King Shahjehan. They were great writers of their times. Their writings are considered to be among the most well written Persian prose of the time. Sheikh Inayat Ullah wrote world famous Tareekh-e-Dilkusha , Bahar-e-Danish and Insha-e-Ashraf-us-Sahaif and also worked as Royal munshi (Accountant/Scribe). Mohamed Saleh Kamboh wrote  the great biography of  Shahjahan, Amal e Saleh (Shahjahan Nama). It has a great place in the history books. It has been translated from Persian into many other languages. In this book, he has written about Mughal court and the biography covers the whole life of King Shahjahan’s from his childhood to death More...

Posted in:

Tags:

Who is Afraid of Ansar Abbasi

April 14, 2013 at 1:01 PMAdministrator

 

Hakim Hazik

 

Our new generation is being corrupted from the inside. Fifth columnists have infiltrated the Punjab Text Book Board which is being run by the enemies of the ideology of Pakistan. The tree of ideology which was so carefully nurtured by the Shaheed Mustache ul Haq with the help of Tara Masih and brought to ultimate fruition by Syed Drone ul Ummat, Maulana Munawar Hasan, has been hollowed out by no less a person than the Chief Servitor of the masses, the prodigal son of Abbaji, the prodigal husband of three illustrious wives, the builder of the levitating bus, Mian Shehbaz Sharif. More...

Posted in:

Tags:

The Legacy of Mustache ul Haq (RA)

April 14, 2013 at 12:55 PMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

Nahmadoo hoo wa nusalli ala...

 

Meray Aziz Hamwatno,

 

Do you know the fifth kalma? I know that and the names of the 124,000 prophets. This is the least you can expect the candidate to know if you want them to represent you for a period of full five years in the national assembly where major decisions will be made which will affect our destiny for long years to come. More...

Posted in:

Tags:

Trial By Daisy Cutter

April 14, 2013 at 12:50 PMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

Meray Aziz Ham Watno, especially the Nizam Din Shamiana Merchants, I thank you for coming to this press conference. I am not afraid of any one except Allah who is the ruler of the universe, including Dera Bugti and King Abdullah who is the ruler of all the warriors who fight for the supremacy of Islam, the Prophet and the progeny of the Prophet. More...

Posted in:

Tags:

Syed Drone ul Ummat

April 14, 2013 at 12:48 PMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

The time is now. It can not be delayed any more. We have to finish the unfinished agenda of the Partitions. No, not to take back Kashmir but to drive out the infidels, the heretics, those who hold partners with God, those who hold partners with the GHQ, liberal secularists, secular liberalists and Asma Jahangir. More...

Posted in:

Tags:

Jihad is Many a Splendored Thing

March 18, 2013 at 10:00 PMAdministrator

 

 

 

 

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

Nakedness and obscenity is spreading through the neighbourhoods. This will bring down the state and destroy the our society as the family values are ruthlessly uprooted, women come out on the streets with uncovered faces, and our ulema who are the guardians of these age old values are regularly insulted. 

 

It is clearly written in all the holy books that virtuous women should remain quiet if faced with the assault and rape. They should quietly go to prison for the greater good of the Ummah. If they make a hue and cry about it, it will lead to chaos and breakdown of social mores. It may allow the foreign and anti Ummah organisations such as CIA, MOSSAD and Code Pink to infiltrate our society and destroy our virtue and honour, as they have long sought to do. More...

Posted in:

Tags: