Jerusalem via Khurasan

January 24, 2014 at 11:08 PMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

 

Things have come to a pass where people are asking to launch an operation if there are any more attacks. This war was imposed  on us. Those who attack us are our misguided brothers. We cannot allow guided missiles to kill our misguided brothers. All we need is a rightly guided caliph and we can be on the path to peace and prosperity. More...

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The Daring Raid of Bahria Seals

January 24, 2014 at 11:06 PMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

Large amounts of political literature were ceased in Turbat. It exemplifies the mortal threat faced by the country as the enemy has infiltrated our premier educational institutions and are brainwashing our youth, making them read biographies of historic personalities. Sources close to Viewpoint have revealed on conditions of anonymity, that large amounts of IQ were also ceased in Ata Shad Degree College. These were immediately destroyed to protect the innocent and to guard the integrity of the country. More...

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The Commonwealth of Edgware

January 24, 2014 at 11:01 PMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

I have always said that we need to control the movement of peepil to ensure harmony in our cities. If we lift all restrictions on movement of peepil, lats will come and the social cohesion will be overwhelmed. More...

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Jahiliyya Town

January 24, 2014 at 10:58 PMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

Dear Readers,

 

Whenever I hold my pen to write a column, liberal fascists start creating a hue and a cry. They cannot tolerate anyone who speaks for Islam and against usury. Illiterate people such as Pervez Hoodbhuoy, Syed Amir Ali and Malala Yusfuzai have ganged up on me. I have told them to go and shave their upper lip first and grow their beard to at least the length of a fist, before they qualify to speak on Islam and the holy sharia. More...

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Full Court Reference

January 24, 2014 at 10:53 PMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

Be respectful, pay attention, be alert. The honour of the throne of Hindustan, His Royal Highness, the Greatest Hero, the Greatest King, the King of Kings, is proceeding in this direction. More...

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Gawd Save the Queen

January 24, 2014 at 10:49 PMAdministrator

 

 

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

I met the Met Chief bhai today in the Daag and the Bones pub, off Iscatland road, over a pint. The meeting istarted in the New Iscatland yard but continued till late. We had time to relax and warm our cackles. He is a gireat guy if you ask me. He told me the Madame Ji Theresa is quite happy to go easy and for the Met to bury the case. The next time Jaraj Gallaway Bhai gets up to ispeak in the parliyament, she will put out a saucer of milik for him to silurp fraam and ask him to leave the matters of istate to the Big Sister and to the Faran and Cammanwealth Affice. More...

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Dhol Spy

January 24, 2014 at 10:46 PMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

The Pink Panther has struck again. It is no other than the inimitable Mrs Shirin Mazari who is known throughout the Ummah for her patriotism, personal warmth and sunnah compliant beard. She has become renowned for some spectacular achievements including the exposure of the infamous Kerry Luger Bill which almost brought the country to its knees by trying to make our valiant army subservient to the corrupt and weak kneed civilian leadership. More...

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Umar Media Presents

January 24, 2014 at 10:36 PMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

Attock has always been a seat of power for the leaders who have shaped the destiny of the Ummah, including Sher Shah of Sur, Hari Singh of Nalwa and Mumtaz Qadri of Sabzi Mandi. Lately, the famous scion of the Durrani dynasty, Brother Brother of Qandahar has held court there. This fort has become the centre of international attention as sundry diplomats and emissaries from all corners of the world are queueing up to pay obeisance and kiss the signet ring of the Caliph designate, may Allah SWT sustain his presence. More...

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Long live Peace Process

January 24, 2014 at 10:32 PMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

We are sorry to inform you that Peace Process is dead (1979-2013). He was born Jamshed Mehsud in Kotkai in 1979. He spent his formative years in Hangu attending the world famous Academy of Peace Studies, Jamia Suicidia. He became a master of the express and the hidden disciplines of knowledge in the glorious tradition of the Wifaq ul Madaris. His schooling instilled in him an insatiable desire to establish and promote interfaith dialogue among the great religions of the world including Ahle Sunnat wal Jamaat and Ghazwa e Hind. More...

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Budhu

January 19, 2014 at 2:21 PMAdministrator

Mudassar Bashir

Translated and Edited: Muttahir Ahmed Khan

 

Whenever the rich history, culture and architecture of Lahore is discussed, one cannot ignore Budhu’s tomb which possesses a grand status amongst the city’s monuments. More...

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