Jihad is Many a Splendored Thing

March 18, 2013 at 10:00 PMAdministrator

 

 

 

 

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

Nakedness and obscenity is spreading through the neighbourhoods. This will bring down the state and destroy the our society as the family values are ruthlessly uprooted, women come out on the streets with uncovered faces, and our ulema who are the guardians of these age old values are regularly insulted. 

 

It is clearly written in all the holy books that virtuous women should remain quiet if faced with the assault and rape. They should quietly go to prison for the greater good of the Ummah. If they make a hue and cry about it, it will lead to chaos and breakdown of social mores. It may allow the foreign and anti Ummah organisations such as CIA, MOSSAD and Code Pink to infiltrate our society and destroy our virtue and honour, as they have long sought to do. More...

Posted in:

Tags:

Lhor Lhor A

March 18, 2013 at 9:42 PMAdministrator

 

 

Tuzk e Jahangiri

 

Hakim Hazik

 

Af course I grew up in Lhor. Played bantas in Pani Wala Tlaab and ate kebabs from Mochi Gate and when I got the upset stomach, went to Myoo Haspataal for the drip. This was before the time of Shaitan Zia ul Haq and his adopted sons who came to rule the Gormint House. 

 

Central Maadel School was still Urdu Medium and GN Butt Sahib would still want us to become Murgha if we did nat write the takhti or if we ate phutta during recess. There was no computer lab with a phatti fram the USAID and Boota still sold the Nan Cholay spiced up with bhang. More...

Posted in:

Tags:

Anarkali

March 16, 2013 at 6:07 PMAdministrator

Mudassar Bashir

 

Anarkali’s name and her story is an unforgettable one. When we look into the pages of history, there are various conflicting accounts of her story. One group says that she was Prince Saleem’s lover and was a pretty slave girl in Emperor Akbar’s court. Her name is  variously described as Nadira begum, Sharf un Nisa or Shareef un Nisa. Emperor Akbar never approved of her relationship with Shekhu (Prince Saleem). He could not put down the fire of love that burned in her heart and, in anger, bricked her up in a wall. When Prince Saleem ascended the throne, he erected an elegant mausoleum over her grave.More...

Posted in:

Tags:

Karachi, Gawadar, Dubai

March 3, 2013 at 3:35 PMAdministrator

 

The Quaid Ispeaks

Hakim Hazik

 

 

Dear Dr Isharat ul Ebad Bhai, 

 

May God lengthen your life expectancy and keep you on the throne of Krianchi till the end of time. I have received the disturbing news that you have nat been feeling very well and have gaan to Dubai for a bit of R & R, with the help af a Chinese massage. I think this is a capital idea especially when the provincial capital is racked with the violence af the naan Chinese naan Mutahidda, unscrupulous, newly arrived, qabza and bhatta gangs. More...

Posted in:

Tags:

Puristan or Bust

March 3, 2013 at 3:32 PMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

To,

Field Marshal Avatar P Kayani Esq.

Commander in Chief

The Armed Forces 

The Islamic Republic of Puristan

Dear Sir, 

Sorry to bother you at this time of the day which may prevent you from joining the game of golf that is so critical for the national security. I do apologise for this intrusion. I know that the national leaders like your selves require equanimity and peace of mind, that would allow them to be unflinching in their commitment to the well being of the respectable people in the length and breadth of the country. More...

Posted in:

Tags:

The Caliphate of Calgary

March 3, 2013 at 3:29 PMAdministrator

 

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

Our beloved leader was born in the ancient city of Jhang which has long been a cradle of civilisation. He cut his ecclesiastical teeth on the handouts of the holy Ittefaq conglomerate which is a beacon of hope and enlightenment in the darkness of Lahore. More...

Posted in:

Tags:

The Five Year Itch

March 3, 2013 at 3:25 PMAdministrator

 

Tuzk e Jahangiri

Hakim Hazik

 

Pateeshan, pateeshan, pateeshan. 

 

My ears are cooked by these pateeshans. Does Choisab has no other work to do? Every Tam, Dick, Harry, Majha, Saja and Gama can arrive fram Mrs. Saga and start a revolution. When they say they don’t like the Lection Commission, what they mean is that they don’t like lections. And why nat sir ji? Becaz the lection may nat give the right results. The lections should bring nice nice peepal who are sadiq and amin and have a silver sapoon in their mouth, made in Toronto and palished in Madel Town. More...

Posted in:

Tags:

Rent-a-PM

March 3, 2013 at 3:21 PMAdministrator

 

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

All are welcome to visit our brand new facility at the Constitution Avenue. We provide caretaker prime ministers, interim government leaders, technocrats and religious leaders at very competitive rates. 

 

All our personnel come with a warrantee of a minimum of ninety days which can be extended to eleven years for a small monthly amount. (Terms and conditions apply, see the registrar Supreme Court for a detailed plan, customised to your needs). More...

Posted in:

Tags:

A Dream Come True

March 3, 2013 at 3:15 PMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

I have a dream.

 

I have a dream that one day the nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed, ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident that all civilians are created equal’. 

 

I have a dream that one day, in D Square of the parliament on the banks of Euphrates, the sons of Yazid and sons of Husain will sit down on plastic chairs inside a bomb proof container and thrash out a plan for an equal share of the Government loot. More...

Posted in:

Tags: