The State vs. Petraeus

November 17, 2012 at 6:41 PMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

Indictment

 

General David Howell Petreaus,

 

You are accused of having an unlawful affair in violation of the terms of your employment, and the prestige of your office. You are accused of giving unprecedented access to the General Atomics MQ 1 Predator, also known as Paula Broadwell. You are accused of having in your annex two Libyan prisoners and an unauthorized piece of dangerous armament called Gill Kelly. Because of these indiscretions, your private parts, national security  and the world peace has been put at risk. More...

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The Hand of God

November 17, 2012 at 6:36 PMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

 

All the state institution should stay within their limits. These limits are decided by the supreme commander of the armed forces and the master of the universe, the living avatar of God on earth, the emir of the faithful, chief of the army staff, Yours Truly. More...

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The Dior Abaya

November 17, 2012 at 6:32 PMAdministrator

 

Letter to Brother Abdullah

Hakim Hazik

 

In the name of Allah, the most beneficent, the most merciful.

 

Blessings and salutations on the Prophet

 

Dear Brother Abdullah,

 

Your brother has escaped by the skin of his God fearing teeth. The judge has given his brief verdict and not named Yours Truly for receiving the blessed Kingdom rials whereas he has castigated the crooks who were trying to distribute the tainted foreign money to distort the democratic exercise in the Republic. May God protect the Ummah from such evil men and foil their nasty schemes, ameen. May God protect the judge and prolong his tenure till the Day of Judgement, when the detailed judgement will be read out. More...

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Messiah M. Chaudhry

November 17, 2012 at 6:29 PMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

 

After much deliberation and much looking over one’s shoulder, one has come to the conclusion that the accused General Wind Beg and General Now-In-Armani are guilty as charged. So is the late Slave King and all those usurpers who are dead or retired. More...

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Bani Gala and Bani Israel

November 17, 2012 at 6:25 PMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

 

We condemn the attack on Malala. In this condemnation, we should not forget Aafia Siddiqi. She is the true daughter of Islam. She should be freed from the infidel Sing Sing prison. Aasia Bibi should stay in custody. She should not be freed from the bastion of faith, the font of all blessings, the Adyala prison. The injured and the infirm should go to Birmingham, UK or Buffalo, New York. The able bodied should go to Helmand and beat the infamy and licentiousness out of the infidel soldiers attacking the Dar ul Islam. More...

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Time, Tide and Little Girls

November 17, 2012 at 6:17 PMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

 

Why do you keep asking me? I have told you a thousand times. This war is not our war. We are killing our own people just because the Americans have given us a few shekel. In our land our own people are sovereign. More...

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Your Brother and Big Brother

November 15, 2012 at 9:52 PMAdministrator

Tuzk e Jahangiri

By: Hakim Hazik

 

All lies. White lies. Your brather knows every vein in their body. I have not bleached these hairs in sunlight. Thereafter, I have not died these hairs with Kala Kola. Those who are suppredding rumours are an the payroll of the same peepal who took your brather to Kot Lakhpat and to the Shahi Qila. Naoo they are holding paress canferences and making satatements, as if the Nurpur butter won’t melt in their mouth. More...

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