A Confidence Building Massacre

May 29, 2012 at 5:56 PMAdministrator

By: Hakim Hazik

When yours tiruly has a cold the whole of Kiranchi catches pneumonia. When yours tiruly has a touch of fever, Kiranchchi burns. When yours tiruly is called to visit the New Iscottland Yard, half the young men in Kiranchi will loose their kneecaps. 

 

 

That’s the way it is going to be, so the kleeshan partners should get used to it and not istart taking out the Love the Homeland rallies on filimsy excuses. We will wear birown shirts and repeat the crystal night a hundred times. We send our istorm tiroopers to demolish all the Aman kmaitees and we will istart a fire that even Malik Sahib will not be able to extinguish. More...

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The Detailed Judgement

May 11, 2012 at 7:35 PMAdministrator

By: Hakim Hazik

The court has with patience and with a generosity of spirit examined the presentation of the learned defense counsel Aitzaz Ahsan ASC and has been unimpressed with his bizarre antics. This is a far cry from the time when he was the doyen of the movement for the rule of law in this country. More...

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The Soft Strategic Depth

May 11, 2012 at 7:31 PMAdministrator

By: Hakim Hazik

Durand Line divides the great land mass of Fak-Ap and the bottom of Maulana Fazlur Rehman into two parts. This does not mean that one part has primacy over the other. The local people are aware of it and travel freely across it to see their kith and kin. More...

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The Rule of Law

May 11, 2012 at 7:28 PMAdministrator

By: Hakim Hazik

This court finds you Yusuf Raza Gilani s/o Syed Alamdar Husain Gilani, guilty of willful flouting of our orders and of contempt of this court.

We have tried our best to improve your letter writing skills. We have employed the best tutor in the land, the most famous and able grammarian after Panini, Professor Ahmed Shuja Pasha, to give you private tuition in letter writing and composition, but you have willfully not availed of this opportunity. More...

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The Fastest Growing Religion

May 11, 2012 at 7:25 PMAdministrator

By: Hakim Hazik

In the end, justice and the true message has prevailed. Faryal Bibi was allowed to go with her lawfully wedded husband. There is no doubt that she had embraced the true message of her own volition and after careful consideration of its beauty and simplicity, in the two hours that she was taken from her home and driven hell for leather to the dargah sharif, to be married to the pious bridegroom chosen for her by the Pir Sahib. More...

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The Tsunami Warning

May 11, 2012 at 7:19 PMAdministrator

 

By: Hakim Hazik

Never has the Ummah been at such cross roads. A bunch of terrorists led by the notorious Farzana Bari invaded the parliament and spoke to the Maulana with insolence in their eyes and venom in their voice. Maulana, to his credit, exhibited extreme self-control and did apply any physical reprimand which is allowed to him under our sacred law and custom. More...

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Sharia By Credit Card

May 11, 2012 at 7:12 PMAdministrator

 By: Hakim Hazik

At last the enemies of Islam have put a bounty on my head. As all the faithful know, it is a very level head. It is a treasure house of all the holy names that will come tumbling out if I undertake the Sufi practice of waterboarding in the famous Cuban khanqah, with the help of my acolytes and disciples from the dargah Langley Sharif.

Tears well up in my eyes when I think of Shaheed Abudllah Azzam. He would be very proud if he knew that Allah SWT has granted us this honour. Alas, he did not live to see this day and fell a martyr to the bomb of Shaheed OBL. More...

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Classified Ads

May 11, 2012 at 7:05 PMAdministrator

By: Hakim Hazik

Michelin Tyres for Better Burning:

For better results, buy Michelin tyre, burns longer with severely acrid smoke to rip out your lungs. Customer satisfaction guaranteed.  Money back if does not burn to your satisfaction or within 30 days if not used. Must be returned in original packing.

Note: terms and conditions apply. Must not be used for locomotion. Keep away from the reach of children.

FREEFor every buyer: 2 American flags, pretreated with special formula for efficient burning. More...

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Dajjal Super Highway

May 11, 2012 at 6:49 PMAdministrator

By: Hakim Hazik

This joint session of parliament resolves that the national sovereignty is supreme.

We are very grateful for the painstaking research undertaken by Professor Mad Hamid, the world renowned scholar of economics and the doyen of economics publications such as The Economist, the Far Eastern Economic Review and the Mad Magazine. He has quite clearly shown that the US owes us ninety billion dollars. More...

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