The Khussa on the Other Foot

September 25, 2010 at 3:59 PMAdministrator

Letter to Brother Abdullah

By: Hakim Hazik

In the name of Allah, the most beneficent and merciful, who sent prophets, saints, mujaddids, generals and judges to show His Ummah the path of righteousness. In in the name of power that runs the universe, the IMF, the World Bank, the G8 and sends us special envoys, field hospitals, Chinook Helicopters, Predator Drones and GWOT reimbursements, please accept Eid Mubarak from me, Shahbaz Sahib and your Bhabi. More...

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Return of the Native

September 18, 2010 at 8:46 PMAdministrator

Tuzk e Jahangiri

 

By: Hakim Hazik

Have you nat heard sir ji? The rumour mill is working overtime; faster than the shukar mill af Choishujat; faster than the suo moto machine af sapreem coat. Journal Tinpot Bahadur is coming back! More...

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Good Taliban, Bad Taliban

September 11, 2010 at 1:01 PMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

There are two kinds of Taliban.

The good ones live in Quetta. They are cuddly and roly-poly. They have generous and reassuring paunches, symbolic of the glory of Islam. They sit on hand woven carpets with intricate designs, using round pillows to support their staid behinds. They have tea with the Corps Commander Sahib. They send their girls to school in Quetta and their fighters to jihad in Helmand to blow up schools. They have endearing habits. They stroke their beards with their fingers and say alhamdu lillah when they burp. More...

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Cricket Matters

September 9, 2010 at 8:54 PMAdministrator

Letter to the Queen

By: Asif Raja

To,

HRH

The Queen

Dear Ma'am,

I know you are patiently waiting to hear from me as to what happened to the gentleman's game in the home of cricket, Lords. Well, to be honest I was on call last Sunday night when I first came to know about the revelations and most of the week have been quiet dumbfounded with this "un-gentlemanly affair". More...

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A Quick Fix

September 4, 2010 at 3:52 PMAdministrator

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

Now, I am telling you in all honesty. Mr Lokat came to see me the night before last. This was just after the angel of God came to me, to apprise me that the players were innocent and were born of virgin births. I offered Mr Lokat peaches, I offered him plums. He complained of the apartheid regime inflicted on the poor people of South Africa for decades by these same white people who are now conspiring to undermine our nandrolone powered reverse swing and the hysteric British media baying for Asian blood. More...

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