Justice Denied

 Extraordinary Rendition

O brethren of earthenware

We are assembled here

To sit and ponder how and where

We are to take our future fare

We have been screwed by fate 

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There was a story that if you give a razor blade to a non human primate, it would inflict fatal self harm. Our Great leader can accomplish the same with a microphone.   More...

Transcultural Dialogues

Gen. (Retd.) Tinpot: Dot, Buddy stop licking Maulana’s face. I do apologise Maulana. I am not sure what has got into them since 18^th of February. They have become very disobedient.  I think they have got fleas, or maybe they have been bitten by another bug. There are strange creatures everywhere. I saw Kashif Abbasi on the telly yesterday More...

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by Omar Ali

Here is my suggestion for the restoration of the judiciary (and believe me, its not as crazy as it looks):
Tomorrow morning or on Wednesday, the various lawyers bodies should announce a time and place from which the lawyers will lead a massive rally towards Islamabad, to liberate the imprisoned chief justice and take him back to his office in triumph. All political parties and members of civil society should be invited to join this great rally. More...

Dear countrymen,

 I would like to draw your attention to the fact that our journalists are hardly fulfilling their obligation to their noble profession. Recently a newspaper published scathing criticism of our iconoclastic initiative to destroy Buddha’s statues up in the north. Contrary to what the newspaper would have the people believe, we did it as a mark of respect for Buddha, as we believe that this is what Budhha would have wanted. Besides, there was a historical fallacy that needed to be rectified. We all know from our history books that while Buddha sat under a Bodhi tree, meditating on the causes of suffering, he always wore a loincloth, whereas in some of the statues Buddha was depicted wearing robes: a corrupting western influence on the Gandharan artist. Now, would Budhha have liked his image to be tainted by ‘anthropomorphism’ or ‘syncretism’? Obviously not, and therefore, we corrected the mistake with the help of dynamite to preserve Buddha’s true legacy. In addition, we have issued a polite warning to the newspaper to ‘improve its journalism’ More...

Extraordinary Rendition

By Hakim Hazik 

The Ministry of Foreign Affairs spokesman, Mr Half Truth has described as complete lies and fabrication the claim that the Great Leader, Gen Tinpot has met with Mr Ehud Barak during his recent European Tour. He a press statement he said, that the Government of Pakistan would like to be stated categorically, that 1) The Great Leader never met Mr Barak. 2) It was a chance meeting, in which nothing of substance was discussed and 3)For three hours the only discussion that took place was around the right of self-determination of Palestinians, and a two state solution. It had nothing to do with neutralising the Iranian nuclear programme. More...

Link to The News story

Resistance Art and Poetry 

 A Poem by Qaisar Abbas Zaidi

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Dear countrymen,

Our recent strategy of abandoning our axes in favor of firearms is likely to pay rich dividends in near future. It could even endear us to the snooping human rights activists who abhor beheadings due to some skewed logic of their own but may  take more kindly to bombing or shooting at point-blank range. In the meanwhile we must go on protecting our culture, morality, rich folklore and myths with gusto lest a heretic should decide to dismantle them. More...

Dear Citizens,

We are starting with this fundamental principle that we must make everyone a martyr. You may belong to any religion or caste or creed - that has nothing to do with the business of the State, for it is our sacred assignment to enforce correct moral behavior as the sole rightful guardians of morality.  We should be thankful that gone are the days when warfare in the name of God did not prevail in our part of the world. More...

Transcultural Dialogues 

General (Retd.) Tinpot: In the name of the King Emperor, the president of presidents, George No Clue Bush, I bring you greetings from the people of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan, the Untied Tribal Emirates of FATA, the National Socialist Republic of Balochistan, the United National Port Republic of Karachi and the Chinese People’s Protectorate of Gawadar.   More...

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 Hayat Ullah Khan

The Ministry of Foreign Affairs spokesman, Mr. Truthful has stated that Mr. Schmidle had to be deported because of the abuse of visa privileges extended to him by the Government of Pakistan. He was here as a researcher, and wrote an article in the New York Times, something that only a journalist should do. This blatant misdemeanour is against all the norms of decency and civilised behaviour. The GOP has taken a very dim view of this. In the past the Government has acted directly to safeguard the integrity of Pakistan, against similar pitiful attempts to undermine it, and the enemies of state have been eliminated in a forceful manner, such as after the assassination of Abu Hamza Rabia. So Mr Schmidle should be grateful for a safe passage.

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